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Farting Survey

Please fill out this survey. We are interested in learning about how people feel about farting. Whether you think that farts are disgusting or not, we would like to hear from you! Be honest, remember, we don't know who you are so don't be embarrassed!

Sex:                                                                             Male                Female

Age                                                                             

The state where you live (if in US) or country.              

Occupation (Optional/demographic purposes)               

Marital status                                                                

Choose the option that best matches your ethnic background. Look at all before choosing.  

Email Address (optional: if you would like to be notified when the results become available, please give us your email address):     

Weight (optional, but helpful.)                                                Pounds        Kilograms            Stone

Do you like to fart?                                                      Yes             I don't "like" it, but I don't mind it.           No

About how many times per day do you usually fart (average)?    

In what social situations do you allow yourself to fart? At Home              At Work          at School          around friends
                                                                                  in a friend's home in a car             around family    
                                                                                  around the opposite sex                around girl/boyfriend/spouse
                                                                                  in public

Do you like the smell of your farts?                                Yes                No

Do you like the smell of other peoples' farts?                 Yes                No

Whose farts are better?                                                My own          Someone else's

Ever blame someone else for your farts?                        Yes                No

If a friend or family member farted around you, how would YOU react? I would laugh
I would shout "Eww!" or "Yuck!"
I would comment on the fart.
I would cover my nose.
I would do nothing.
I would try to compete.
Other      

 

If a complete stranger farted around you, how would you react? I would laugh
I would be disgusted.
I would say something to the person.
I would walk away.
I would do nothing.
I would pretend nothing happened.
Other      

 

Do you have a reputation for your farts? (among Friends, coworkers, etc.) Yes          No

 

My farts stink... Always
Usually
Sometimes
Only when I need to go to the bathroom.
Never


My farts are best described as... Loud and Stinky
Audible and Stinky
Silent but Deadly
Loud but Odorless
Audible and Odorless
Silent and Odorless


Are you ever embarrassed when you fart? Yes
Only when in public.
No, it doesn't bother me.
No, I like it.

 

Which of the following situations would be most embarrassing to you when with friends? Trying to fart, and not being able to
Farting loudly.
Farting a very rancid one.
Burning yourself when trying to light a fart.
Extinguishing the flame when trying to light a fart.
Ripping farts that donít stink.
Pooping yourself while trying to fart.

 

Who do you think farts more?                                        Guys                Girls

I....        Don't fart enough    Fart enough    Fart too much

What do your farts smell like most often?                                 

When I get the urge to fart, and I am in public, I...                    

When I get the urge to fart, and I am around friends/family, I... 

Which food gives you the most gas?                                        

What part of a fart do you find most humorous?                          The stink               Sound            Flammability

Have you ever been in a farting contest (with friends etc.)?           Yes             No

If so, did you win?            Yes        No

Do your farts ever leave skid marks in your underwear?
Yes, always         Yes, sometimes.    Yes, once or twice.    No

Have you ever pooped your pants from farting or from trying to fart?    Yes    No

    If so, has this happened within the past year or two?                         Yes    No


Farting is... cool
dangerous
disgusting
fun
funny
lame
manly
nothing


When you were growing up, who was known for having the worst farts? an uncle
aunt
cousin
Dad
grandparent
Mom
older brother
younger brother
older sister
younger sister
me

Other      


Was the word "fart" used freely in your family when you were growing up? Yes
No, we had to refer to them by pet names or proper words.
No, we were not allowed to refer to farts.


If you were in a group with your good friends and you farted, what would your friends do? cheer me on
cover their noses in disgust
ditch me
laugh
punch me
shout "EWWW!"
they would be surprised
they would pretend it didn't happen
they wouldn't do anything.
try to compete with me


 Can you fart on command? Yes
No, but I know someone that can.
No, and I don't know anyone that can do that.

I've never heard of that.
 


If you were in a farting contest, how well do you think you would do? I would probably win.
I would probably be somewhere near 1st.
I would do OK.
I would probably lose.

 

Do you believe that farts can ignite? Yes
No


Have you ever been tempted to light your farts? Yes, and I already have!
Yes, but I have never actually tried it.
I have tried, but it didn't ignite.
No


If you have lit a fart, what color was the flame?   

 

How old were you the last time you lit one of your farts?

 

Did you get burned? Yes           
Just singed my hair.
Just my pants.
No


Have you ever been tempted to light somebody else's farts? Yes, and I already have!
Yes, but I never did it.
Heck no!

 

Whose fart did you light, or whose fart were you tempted to light (friend, brother etc)?                       

 

Have you ever seen somebody in real life light a fart? (not in a movie or on TV and not yourself). Yes           
No

 

Who did you see light a fart?

Has anybody ever farted in your face or on your head as a joke or a form of torture? Yes           
No

 

If so, who did it to you?
Have you ever farted in somebody's face or on somebody's head as a joke of a form of torture? Yes           
No

 

If so, who did you fart on?
When you were little, did you like to fart in the bathtub/pool to make bubbles? Yes
No

 

If you are currently or have been in a relationship, have you ever farted in bed and trapped your partner under the sheets? (Called the "Dutch oven") Yes
No
 
If you are in a relationship, or have been in a relationship, about how long did you  wait before farting in front of your partner?     
   
Rate your farts on a scale of 1 to 10 in the following characteristics...
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Stink  (1-None, 10-Deadly)
Sound   (1-Silent, 10-Sonic Boom)
Volume of Gas Emitted (1-Little, 10-A lot)
Length   (1-Short Pop, 10-Long)
Density  (1-Short Life, 10-Hours of Torture)

Flammability (1-None, 10-Flamethrower).

 

How do you think your farts compare to other peoples' farts in the following characteristics...
Below Average Average Above Average
Stink
Sound
Flammability
Frequency
Volume of Gas Emitted

If you could change one thing about your farts, what would it be?       

When do you fart the most (check all that apply)?                In the morning.            At night.            While sleeping.
                                                                                           After I eat.                  When I need to go to the bathroom.

What other words or phrases do you use to refer to farts, farting etc? (optional)

Describe your most embarrassing, or funny fart moment (optional):   


For comments or suggestions, email us!

(C) 2002 Jaco Surveys      
Some material borrowed from Tripler's Ultimate Fart Page with permission.